Lots to see, lots to do, lots of angry-looking cats with bad grammar. Don't you just love the internet? No? Then by all means, stop what you're doing and go back to my traditional portfolio. It's chock-full of dead-tree goodness. Have your intern print it out for you.
Otherwise, read on. Click links. Get distracted. Leave it open in a tab, come back later, scratch your head, turn off your computer and go home. Don't forget to bookmark it so you can do the same thing again later.
Thanks for dropping by.
Michael Peterson
Copywriter
The Sackful
White Castle was the original fast-food restaurant. And back in their heyday (before McDonalds), they had a company newsletter called "White Castle Official House Organ." The Sackful is my attempt to reintroduce that. In keeping with their product, it's hamburger-centric and onion-ey.
The Crave is Calling
The client (who is actually a wonderful client) asked us to support a campaign created by their traditional agency. The campaign featured a character known only as "the Crave." The character is basically a burger (inanimate) in an egg chair, with a phone (beige), who had a habit of dialing (but not speaking to) people at inopportune times.
We concepted and created a site that recast "the Crave" as an evil (yet silent) genius; sort of a brain-in-a-jar-type. The site would give you an inside look at his nefarious lair, buried deep within the steamy magma of Slider Island.
Within the lair, you could spy on the crave's henchmen, or test new experimental sandwiches on rats, monkeys, ratmonkeys, the henchmen, and other disadvantaged mammals. Or you could play wonderful, absurd games including a Supermario-style quest where you must carefully guide a beautiful pig princess through a dangerous and arbitrary maze. Only at the end of the level can you drop the princess through a meat grinder, transforming her from a beautiful pork princess into a beautiful pulled-pork sandwich.
At night, to emphasize White Castle's long tradition of 24-hr dine-in service, the site takes a psychedelic turn, becomes Night-Castle. The lair is black-lit with dayglo accents and velvet posters. Teddy Pendergrass* sets the mood by singing soulfully about the very special love between a man or a woman and a burger with onions.
Anyway, that was the plan, last I checked.
*Or, more likely, a cheap Teddy Pendergrass imitator.
We concepted and created a site that recast "the Crave" as an evil (yet silent) genius; sort of a brain-in-a-jar-type. The site would give you an inside look at his nefarious lair, buried deep within the steamy magma of Slider Island.
Within the lair, you could spy on the crave's henchmen, or test new experimental sandwiches on rats, monkeys, ratmonkeys, the henchmen, and other disadvantaged mammals. Or you could play wonderful, absurd games including a Supermario-style quest where you must carefully guide a beautiful pig princess through a dangerous and arbitrary maze. Only at the end of the level can you drop the princess through a meat grinder, transforming her from a beautiful pork princess into a beautiful pulled-pork sandwich.
At night, to emphasize White Castle's long tradition of 24-hr dine-in service, the site takes a psychedelic turn, becomes Night-Castle. The lair is black-lit with dayglo accents and velvet posters. Teddy Pendergrass* sets the mood by singing soulfully about the very special love between a man or a woman and a burger with onions.
Anyway, that was the plan, last I checked.
*Or, more likely, a cheap Teddy Pendergrass imitator.
Eat better do better dot org
Childhood obesity is a growing crisis in Ohio. Many parents just don't understand the basics of good nutrition. They don't know good foods from bad, or if they do, have trouble providing or preparing good food. Our effort to educate the parents started with these outdoor boards and continued online (eatbetterdobetter.org). Once there, eligible folks could also sign up their kids for federally funded school meals.
(Note: Someone has fuddled the site's copy. Ah well, that's the internet for you. Even when it's finished, it's never really finished.)
Galactic Mu
Science fiction blogs are, on the whole, a well of cruelty combined with snippiness. Galactic Mu was founded by sci-fi fans who actually like sci-fi. What a twist! Also, it's a really nifty site design. I contribute regularly, under the code name Halcyon.
Mariachi Hero
Before "Rock Band" and "Guitar Hero II" there was a little idea I cooked up* with a brilliant young art director for our stodgy liquor (tequila) client. Mariachi Hero!
Unfortunately, as is the case with most of my highly-amusing internet ideas, the client wanted no part of it.** Now it's available for sale at a reasonable price, plus development costs. How reasonable? Well, if you're cheap, just steal it and find your own programmers. What a bargain!
*In my own spare time, natch.
**The above version has been repurposed for el vaquero, which is (the way I understand it) some kind of college mexican restaurant chain. Personally, I only eat at nameless taco trucks, but they don't really "get" the internet.
Bears-in-ill-fitting-hats
*(illustration by Halcyon Snow, a.k.a. Mike Peterson, a.k.a. Me)
What was the internet created for if not the exploration and exposition of absurd notions? A while back, the amazing Mr. Malki! (Wondermark), suggested the following memes for the upcoming year (2008): deep-sea divers, befuddled wizards, treasures of antiquity, naughty jesters, gendarmes, sultans/caliphs, bears-in-ill-fitting hats, and "this guy."
Naturally, I picked up the bears-in-ill-fitting-hats meme and ran with it. The group now has 168 members and has been featured on blogs including Drawn and Neatorama and many more. It's no numa-numa guy, but it's a start.
Join today!
The 700 Hoboes Project
In the beginning, there were hoboes. Then, a notable non-historian wrote some lies about them in his wonderful and wholly inaccurate almanac. That man was John Hodgman. The book was The Areas of My Expertise. Amongst the lies was a comprehensive list of notable historical hobo names, numbering 700. After Hodgman read the list into a music flattening device, one Mr. Mark Frauenfelder of the Boing Boing teletyped a suggestion that 700 cartoonists volunteer to draw one hobo each as a public service or for no particular reason. And so it was, more or less, and here they are.*The nature of the internet is participation. It doesn't fit into the big media model of sit there, shut up, and listen to us. The hoboes project succeeded because it was fun, and not the proprietary kind of fun. Anyone and everyone was welcome.
*From "About Hoboes" on E-hobo.com, written by me.
Hoboes became a phenomenon, the project gaining more and more collaborators, and gathering attention from major aggregators. After every hobo had been illustrated, the group spun off a plan for 700 sub-groups, each a list of 700 things. 700 zombies. 700 pirates. 700 unicorns. 700 underwear-clad vigilante mutants. People were encouraged to provide their own names to these lists, and subsequently, to illustrate each of the names. Because it was fun. And so it continues. I think there's a lesson there.
Exhibit B: Pirates.
22. Captain Greenbeard 23. Captain Doubledown 24. El Capitan Crunch 53. Careless Sextant 54. Larry the Landlubbin' Scalliwag 55. Liam afraid of the Silkie 56. Jojo the Boot-free Freebooter 57. 3-sheets 58. Captain Handspike 59. Sven Sirensong 60. Literate Pete, the Reader 61. Kraken-taunter Jimmy no-hands 62. Dolphin Veal 63. Captain Infant 64. Sigmund the Seasick Seamonster 65. Mary Manatee, the Sea Cow 66. Crabby 67. Jack Chum 68. Sharkbait 69. Fugu the Sea Ninja 70. Holy Mackerel 71. Sinky Sam, the Armor Enthusiast 72. Stowaway Jones, the Catch of the Day 73. Sailor Jerry 74. Captain Spiced Rum, the Regretful 75. Peggy 76. Tortuga Tom, the Shantykeep 77. Len the Lime-whore 78. Cracker the Parrot 79. Ratsoup Honky 80. The Untrustworthy, Ungrateful, Murderous Wench 81. Mutinous Marley 82. John Barleycorn 83. Dutch 84. Seagull-whisperer 85. Bart Barque, the Shallow Draft 87. Her Ladyship, the Liar 88. Pirouette Pete, the Pirate Dance Instructor 89. Pete Pete the Pete 90. Sargasso 91. Doc Laudnum the Kidney Collector 92. Knock-knock the codwallop 93. L'Mayonnaise 94. Lead-tooth Ain't-been-right 95. Fat John, the Grape-shot Catcher 96. Sir Cuttlefish, the Pirate with a Castle 97. Monkeymad Maury, the Monkey Psychologist 98. Scattershot Jones and his crew of biological offspring 99. Turtleneck, the Eponymous 100. Wendy Quick-as-you-can 195. Clambeard 197. Peg-peg, the Human Compass 198. Bahama Havana, the Cartegena Kid 199. Not-so-pretty Penny 200. Pieces of Abe 261. Quartermaster Masterquarter 262. Aye Nonimous 263. Aye-Aye, the bug eater264. Aye 2 Aye, The Concertina DJ 265. Aye eh, the Canadian Anchor 266. Aye-aye, the Apple-Polishing Bootlick Brownnoser 267. Freddy Knows-the-Tides 268. Floyd the Scum 278. Master and Colander 627. Disembodied Peg 628. Broad Whack 629. Furry Old Lobster 630. Cap'n Tickles 631. Captain Okey-Dokey 632. Camembert Frenchie, Le Scourge 633. Neopolitan Bon Bon Pistachio, the Peckish Pirate
Enter the Wayback Machine
One tricky thing about web properties is that they have a tendency to disappear. But, as you know, on the internet, nothing ever disappears entirely.*
My first agency job was at a small independent agency in Seattle called Herring-Newman. They were surprisingly progressive about technology. We even had an extranet (we called it a coopranet; that term did not catch on, probably because I insisted on spelling it with an umlaut) which enabled us to share files with clients.
Here's a website I helped with, way back when. Embarassing.
That's me, on the right.
*Not true. The site I wrote to support my campaign and tagline "SayWA" (for Washington State Tourism) has been completely and utterly scrubbed. Good job, scrubbers! It was a pretty good site, too, featuring clear, well-organized methodology for co-op advertising using the state's new slogan and related materials. So it goes.
My first agency job was at a small independent agency in Seattle called Herring-Newman. They were surprisingly progressive about technology. We even had an extranet (we called it a coopranet; that term did not catch on, probably because I insisted on spelling it with an umlaut) which enabled us to share files with clients.
Here's a website I helped with, way back when. Embarassing.
That's me, on the right.
*Not true. The site I wrote to support my campaign and tagline "SayWA" (for Washington State Tourism) has been completely and utterly scrubbed. Good job, scrubbers! It was a pretty good site, too, featuring clear, well-organized methodology for co-op advertising using the state's new slogan and related materials. So it goes.
Why Blogger?
I could set up a custom portfolio site with a fancy, wiggly interface, the likes of which you've never seen- but why? Blogger fits the need. It's simple to use, easy to navigate, free, and extremely low maintenance.*
With Blogger, I never have server issues. I never have domain registry issues. Whatever I put up here will be here for people to see, whenever I point them to it.
Blogger navigation is stupidly simple- another plus. People already know to scroll down. It's not another "intuitive navigation", it's unconscious navigation. It's always been true, and never more so that on the web: don't make the reader work any harder than they have to.
Thus, Blogger.
*Usually.
With Blogger, I never have server issues. I never have domain registry issues. Whatever I put up here will be here for people to see, whenever I point them to it.
Blogger navigation is stupidly simple- another plus. People already know to scroll down. It's not another "intuitive navigation", it's unconscious navigation. It's always been true, and never more so that on the web: don't make the reader work any harder than they have to.
Thus, Blogger.
*Usually.
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